


In Closet Res

by A_Damned_Scientist



Category: Farscape
Genre: Challenge Response, F/M, Sexual Frustration, Teasing, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 18:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10622928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Damned_Scientist/pseuds/A_Damned_Scientist
Summary: During Terra Firma, Aeryn and Chiana get caught out when sneaking into John's bedroom to look for clues to help Aeryn win John back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for M1812Ls SC98 – in Media Res. Happy Birthday, Michael. the challenge was to start 'in media res' and to include the characters being perplexed by a number of items.
> 
> Setting: Terra Firma
> 
> Warning: low level smut and suggestiveness, of the level that often divides Europeans and Americans as to how it should be rated.
> 
> Thanks: To Vinegardog for the beta read and some very useful suggestions.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine and no money made.

The sound of heavy footsteps running upstairs gave Aeryn and Chiana just a few seconds warning that they might be interrupted, caught red handed poking around John’s bedroom in Chez Crichton. They were there looking for clues that might help in Project Win Crichton Back From That Tralk Caroline. Of all the Crichtons, it could only have been John galumphing up the stairs at such speed and with such noise. Jack wouldn’t rush and Olivia wouldn’t sound like a herd of ‘Ellieflumps’ (or whatever it was those big, grey critters were called).  
  
The two jirls exchanged a startled glance. Chiana, who had more experience of such scenarios, enabling her to come to the least worst option quickest, grabbed Aeryn by the elbow and half pulled, half shoved her into John’s oversized closet. They only just managed to pull the wardrobe door shut before the bedroom door opened and in stomped Crichton, dressed rather appealingly to Aeryn’s eye in typical causal Erp clothing of denim and yet more denim.  
  
Aeryn tried to control her breathing, watching through a gap between the door’s louvres as John tossed his denim jacket carelessly on the chair nearest the door  then toed his sneakers off, kicking them into random corners. John must have read Aeryn’s mind, or maybe Chiana’s, because he didn’t stop there: he then proceeded, in short order, to shed his socks and unbutton his flannel shirt. Aeryn labored over a single ragged breath to accompany the unfastening of each and every button. Would he stop? Wait for it… Aeryn told herself to be patient… and was soon rewarded as he peeled off his shirt to reveal the white vest and impressively muscled physique beneath.  
  
Aeryn licked her lips as she surveyed John’s arms and shoulders, trying to pick out individual hairs on the arms, while still straining to keep her eyes on The Bigger Picture. Whatever that might be.  
  
Confined to the closet, within denches of each other, Aeryn could sense Chiana’s lecherous, near-silent smirk without even looking. Aeryn turned to her companion, hoping her warning glare was clear enough in the dim light of the closet to warn her partner in burglary to a) not give them away by making any inappropriate noises and b) stop leering at her ex-and-hopefully-future-boyfriend.  
  
Chiana grinned back at her, clearly not getting with the programme as she wiggled her eyebrows, licked the top corner of her lips and then pouted, nodding at Aeryn to indicate that she should check out the view.  
  
Aeryn needed little encouragement or reminder to peer back through the gaps in the slats. She scarcely managed to conceal her own groan of lust as she watched John, facing slightly towards the closet, unbuckle his belt and then slowly but relentlessly pop his way down the buttons of his denim jeans. Then to her surprise and delight, he turned away from the girls, hooked his thumbs in the waistband and slid the trousers slowly down his… Chiana nudged Aeryn’s elbow, upsetting her concentration. The grey sprite’s whole body seeming to shake with amused enjoyment.  
  
“Frell!” Aeryn thought she heard Chiana breathe as John bent over to finish removing his jeans. Aeryn couldn’t have put it better herself. The view was quite breathtaking, although, eventually, John straightened up, allowing them to admire his legs, too. “That eema’s going to haunt my dreams for monens!” Chi sighed. Aeryn was torn between agreeing and admonishing the impertinent little tralk. She opted for the Third Way of silent contemplation.  
  
Aeryn struggled to keep her breathing on an even keel as John threw the jeans in the same random corner as his sneakers then, with what sounded like a frustrated sigh, plopped himself down on the edge of his bed and picked up the TV remote. As the sound of some sort of sports event filled the room, Aeryn at last felt able to vent a frustrated sigh of her own to match John’s.  
  
John, however, seemed dissatisfied with whatever was being broadcast and began to cycle through different channels, providing his own disappointed commentary with every click. “Nope. Seen it. Advert for little blue pills, like I need them with my shipmates, although maybe I should lay in a stockpile, while I’m home?  Advert for hair regrowth. Advert for obesity snake oil. Politics. What the frell? More politics…” Aeryn had seen other human males conduct the same channel hoping ritual, whereas the females, if they could secure the remote from the grip of the males, seemed to easily find something which suited their requirements. It was an obvious but unfathomable difference between the sexes of Erplings.  
  
Emboldened by the covering noises coming from the TV, Chiana leant in closer and whispered in Aeryn’s ear: “Seriously Aer, sort it out.” Aeryn’s eyes darted sideways to glare at her. “You owe it to all the females in the Universe not to let that go to waste.” Chiana further advised.  
  
Before Aeryn could formulate a suitably pithy response, John clicked the TV off, announcing: “57 Channels and nothin’ on.” Then he tossed the remote aside, and, to Aeryn’s frustration and excitement, proceeded, without preamble or warning, to peel off the vest, leaving him wearing nothing more than his Calvins. “Time to make my own entertainment?” What could he mean by that, Aeryn both longed and dreaded to discover.  
  
Aeryn was just coming to terms with the sight of John in just his boxer shorts when he momentarily stood, hooked his thumbs into the waistband and pushed down: Aeryn’s eye’s practically bugged out, her breath hitching as John’s Calvins followed the vest onto the floor.   
  
“Oh my…” Chiana stifled her gasp, showing enough self-control to limit herself to whispering in Aeryn’s ear.  “Has he grown?” Aeryn pursed her lips and inclined her head, conceding the possibility. Aeryn, ignorant of Chiana’s recent dalliance with John Junior, innocently assumed that her companion had based her question on simple visual observation over the cycles. John certainly looked bigger than Aeryn recalled. Maybe it was something about being on Erp, maybe it was fluid backlog, maybe it was just her memory playing tricks on her? It scarcely seemed to matter. It wasn’t like she could go out there with a measuring device and…  snap out of it woman!  
  
What mattered, what concerned yet also titillated her was what might happen next. She sincerely hoped that John didn’t attempt to rebalance his own fluid levels. Not that she would have minded, on principle, but the frustration and embarrassment of having to sit through such a thing with Chiana as joint audience, unable to conduct her own complementary exercise in response without Chiana bearing witness, was unconscionable.  
  
Aeryn tried to control her breathing as John’s right hand snaked across his pec, and his left slid over his abs. Both seemed to be gently caressing… Or maybe he was just scratching a low level itch, Aeryn tried to convince herself? A cheeky, lopsided grin spread across John’s face as the hand on his abs grazed lower, crossing the ridges, heading down towards…  
  
“Definitely. Bigger. Now…” Chiana smirked. She had an unarguable point.  
  
And then just as John’s hand reached the top of his curls, the frelling Erpman sat and lay back on his bed. Aeryn cursed silently, but then grew distracted at the sight of the John’s semi-hard protuberance bucking slightly with each beat of his heart.  
  
Chiana let out the most subdued of whimpers. Aeryn silently sympathized.  
  
“Come on, little John,” Crichton announced. “It’s sleepybyes time,” He gave the organ a single conciliatory stroke. Aeryn joined Chiana in a whimper this time. “No warrior princesses for you to play with today, and I need my beauty sleep.”  And with that his hand moved up and tucked itself under his head.  
  
Nothing happened for the next half macrot bar fervent wishes and frustration in the closet while John’s chest slowly rose and fell in time with his breathing.  
  
Aeryn let out the breath she had been holding as it became apparent that John did indeed now merely intended to lay on his bed and attempt to rest.  
  
After…  maybe several minutes of quietly observing, purely for purposes of ensuring that he did indeed have no other plans to entertain himself, Aeryn finally managed to tear her eyes away from John’s naked, prone form. Chiana seemed more skeptical that John was now settled and no longer worth observing. It took several tugs on her sleeve before Aeryn managed to persuade Chiana to pay her any attention. When Chiana did so, it was in the form of a petulant, angry scowl.  
  
“We should give him ten macrots to fall asleep. Then leave,” Aeryn whispered. Chiana looked unconvinced, obviously wanting to resume her observations. “While we’re stuck here, let’s see if there is anything of interest?” Aeryn persisted, trying to remind Chi of why they were in John’s bedroom in the first place.  
  
Chiana finally and with bad grace seemed to come around to Aeryn’s plan, joining her in inspecting the contents of the oversized closet, looking for clues that might help Aeryn win John back.  
  
There was an oddly shaped ball, ovoid and pointy at each end. As it could clearly only roll along one axis, it seemed to be of little value or use. There was a pair of over padded, bright white boots. What was oddest about them was that Aeryn didn’t recall having seen anyone wearing such a thing during her stay on Erp. She was not surprised. They looked ridiculous. Although not as ridiculous as the toy, cloth ‘Yoda’ doll on the shelf above them or, what Aeryn recognised from watching TV as a full sized replica Star Trek uniform hanging from the rail next to it. A helmet, oddly similar to that which John had worn when he first came aboard Moya, but bearing the inscription “69ers” rather than “IASA” sat on a shelf. Why would he have a space helmet at home? No matter.  
  
Further investigations revealed a number of other mysterious objects: There was a box stuffed with garishly decorated thin, square cardboard sleeves about 12 denches on each side. Aeryn pulled one out to investigate further. There was a strangely overblown depiction of a two wheeled transport seeming to erupt from the ground on one side, with the inscription ‘Meatloaf Bat Out Of Hell’ and on the other side, a picture of two males and one female. Aeryn arched an eyebrow. One of the males had his hand on the buttock of the female. Inside the sleeve was another, unadorned paper sleeve and inside that a flat, black circular disc of some unidentified material with a small hole in the dead centre. Mystified, Aeryn repackaged the item and returned it back to the box with the hundred or so others of its ilk.    
  
As Aeryn finished with ‘Meatloaf’, Chiana grinned and held up what was obviously, from the cover, some sort of pornographic pamphlet. With the visual aid of the cover pictures, Aeryn deciphered the title: “Big, Buxom Blondes.” Clearly they would find nothing of use or significance within the pages of that journal. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to take it for research, just in case. Aeryn reached out, and, after a brief tug of war, managed to wrestle it from Chiana’s grip.  
  
Chiana seemed unhappy, but Aeryn glared her protest down. Her ex-boyfriend’s closet. Her rules.  
  
As Chiana stuck out her bottom lip and cast her eyes around for something else to look at, the distinctive sound of an Erpman snoring rattled their ears.  
  
Aeryn pointed a finger towards the door and silently mouthed “Let’s go!”  
  
Chiana nodded, conceding that they were unlikely to get a better opportunity and that they should take advantage of it while they could.  
  
Chiana eased the closet doors open and the two jirls crept out into the room, as stealthily as they could manage, pausing only to carefully close the closet door and conduct a quick visual appraisal to ensure that John was still asleep.  
  
The microts dragged by as both women stood, each conducting a private and thorough assessment of John’s naked, sleeping form. Yes, he definitely seemed to be asleep. Although Aeryn was now unsure as to whether he had indeed grown, as Chiana had earlier suggested. She stared harder, inclining her head and squinting, trying to come to a decision one way or another.  
  
It was Chiana who came to her senses first, snatching Aeryn’s hand, the one not clutching the rolled up copy of “Big Buxom Blondes”. Aeryn shot an angry glance at her companion, seeking an explanation.  
  
“C’mon!” Chiana mouthed urgently but with obvious amusement. Aeryn sighed and conceded the need to make their escape.    
  
As they reached the door, John’s deadpan voice lilted up from where he still lay, otherwise apparently asleep. “Hope you enjoyed yourself, girls,” For a moment Aeryn found herself routed to the spot, caught red handed. “If you were looking for clothes, shoes or sex-toys, Livvie’s closet is next door.”  
  
Chiana jerked the door open and tugged Aeryn after her, all pretence of stealth now abandoned. As they fled through the door, along the landing and down the stairs, pursued by the sounds of John’s laughter, Aeryn noted that even Chiana had managed to flush slightly red with the embarrassment of having been caught out.  
  
Still, Aeryn smiled to herself, at least she hadn’t fled entirely empty handed: John’s pamphlet could have a multitude of uses ranging from conducting “research” of her own into tension relief, to ammunition to use against John someday. After being teased and caught out by him like that she suspected she might need it sooner rather than later.  
  
  
The end.


End file.
